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  • Writer's pictureJ.J. Cunis

The Book of Joe - Chapter 2

Updated: Jan 24, 2023

(Warning: The following journal of random bloviating is apt to include explicit language from time to time. They're just fuckin words. Don't be priggish for the benefit of your contemporaries. Get over it. Your pre-teen, if you have one or more, is currently discovering them on their own without your knowledge and taking every opportunity to wear them out like the soles of their thumbs on their cell phone.)

Chapter 2

Sunday, July 17, 2022

Epistle to the Naugahydes - Nah. 8- 98.6

Was Donald Trump the Anti-Christ?

Shit. The man was an abject failure in most all his life's endeavors. He was more like the Anti-Einstein. In January of 2017, the Tangerine Twat was unfucking

believably being sworn in as President. He had left a phalanx of the Republican Party’s best and brightest (a sad statement in itself) in a quivering puddle of pee on the debate stage. Then despite losing the popular vote by nearly three million, due to the idiocy of the Electoral College system he was declared President.

Morons from across the country came scurrying out from under their rocks, sporting any simple acronym they were able to wrap their logic starved brains around like MAGA and Q (for the excessively simple who had trouble with multiple letter words). They suddenly realized thanks to the internet and their reality TV idol, they were not an aberration. There were others like them.

This loud mouth narcissistic buffoon had proven throughout his life that he was incapable of managing a bake sale. How do you manage to run casinos into bankruptcy for Christ’s sake? He fucked up a bogus university, a mortgage company, vodka, bottled water, a magazine, a football team, an airline, multiple real estate deals and meat. One thing you had to give him though, he was consistently loud, overbearing and unprincipled, which made him a great persona for reality TV and after midnight, snake-oil pitch man.

His old man, the sleazy slum lord, had the decency to die and left the dingbat about $400 million dollars. He flashed that stash like big tits on a hooker to eager, status hungry, up and coming, bank loan officers. With his elf like cadre of lawyers, he was papering more LLC’s and their likely subsequent petitions to declare their bankruptcy than Cottonelle was rolling out toilet paper. I imagine the Tufted Twerp was drawing a nice salary or hefty consulting stipend plus expenses from each of those LLC’s, courtesy of financing from Anytown Ofuckmydepositors Bank & Trust. Thus when the business went down the shitter, it was no big deal because none of his money went in and a ton of their money was taken out through the aforementioned compensation packages. Vendors and contractors were stiffed. Millions of two cent-a-month, no fee, interest earning checking account, Dotty and David Dutiful Direct Depositors were none the wiser and thrilled to receive their logoed coozies. And what about Neferious Nathan, our worm wriggly bank officer, he’s long since landed a higher position at Ohnofuckme Saving & Loan due to his impressive clientele ... with the big tits, wavy hair and a commanding presence.

And now America, in its impending Idiocracy, had not only given him access to the nuclear codes, it gave him the power to appoint his favorite donut hole as Secretary of the Treasury, the custodian of the world's largest bank. The new Cremsicle-in-Chief was in unfamiliar territory. He would need a bevy of new lawyers now. No worries, the tab would fall to Frank, Felicity and little Ferd Feabilton, since the first thing he’d be doing is give a big tax break to the rich and perform like a screen door on a submarine when the country was faced with a pandemic. Not a good start, but things would get much worse. (Paraphrased from a draft of the forthcoming Ying, Yang and Sometimes Y)


"Religion began when the first scoundrel met the first fool." -- Voltaire


America has become flaccid as a result of its success. We let men, no mental cases, in White Robes (Republican/White Supremacist elected officials) and Black Robes (Supreme Court) probe into and dictate our lives.

Robes! What the fuck? With so many advances in technology, how is it we are regressing to the Middle Ages intellectually. Over time our legislature and courts have codified so many laws that we have completely lost our identity. Right and wrong has been footnoted to death, to the point there is only gray. Notice most all politicians are attorneys. Thinks there's a game plan of perpetual self preservation underlying all this?

There was a time when an official who had committed the atrocities that Trump has would have been stripped to his skivvies, tarred and feathered and dragged across the Ellipse (as ghastly an image as that may be, avert your eyes). Instead we're tippy toe dancing around the whole thing, like a barefoot princess in a pasture filled with cow flaps.


The TV news media has devolved into Reality TV - constantly at war with each other for ratings. The news has become hollow without substance. Now it's just flash, bang, manufactured moments, sparkly confetti and perfect teeth.


One word - Gnostics, what did they know?


Can you still be considered a conservative if you regularly have pineapple on your pizza? I suppose the hierarchy would let it pass if it was done discreetly and only in the company of other conservatives.



Here's why -

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J.J. Cunis
J.J. Cunis
10. jun. 2023
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